Guide me oh thy great Jehovah…not!

Posted: August 29, 2010 in Life in General, Rants and raves, Religion

Isn’t the irony of life just wonderful?

There I was sitting engrossed in watching a re-run of Professor Richard Dawkins’ “The God Delusion” when I noticed two ladies walking up the driveway to come to our frontdoor.  One of them was a grey-haired lady probably somewhere in her 50’s whilst her accomplice was a stunning 20 year girl with long flowing wavy red hair.

Now it’s not particularly usual for us to get random visitors early on a Saturday morning (other than Roddie our Postman), so I had a funny feeling running through my bones that these two were going to be a couple of sales’men’ from a church trying to sign me up to become one of their flock.  As it turns out, my doorstep visitors turned out to be Jehovah’s Witnesses and so as Professor Dawkins was put on “pause” I knew what I was going to be doing for the next 1/2 hour.

Funnily enough I had just been saying to my friend (who has actually invited his preaching visitors back for tea and chat) that we never really got visited by the doorstep Jehovah’s – and the next thing I have a couple of them right in front of me.  Do you think there was some higher intervention on this one?

So, rather than slam the door in the faces, threaten them with a gun/dog/knife or to call the police for trespassing (these are all examples that they told me during our conversations still happens to them), I actually stood with them and engaged in some meaningful discussions as I listened to their very strong views.

Now, I am not going to bore you with the two-way chats that we had; suffice to say that according to them:

Males have a higher place in the universe than females…(further irony of this coming from 2 females themselves!)…
Homosexuality is wrong…and a gay person who wanted to join their church wouldn’t be allowed…
Gay and Lesbian couples cannot love each other the same way that a heterosexual couple do….and it’s just un-natural…
9:11 and all the atrocities in the world is God allowing “man” to see the damage he is causing before he comes back to earth to help us and sort us all out…
The current situation in Pakistan is a test of faith…and as long as they live by the Bible they will be fine…

But I am not going to go into the whole religious arguements discussions that we had on my front doorstep.  I was more interested in the 20-year-old red-head (…and not for the reasons you may think).  I was much more interested in the fact that every time I tried to engage her in the conversation, her answers came from the older woman.  She basically wasn’t allowed to answer.  Why? Was she not well versed enough in her faith? Did she need more practice?

I realise that this girl would have been in ‘training’ but it would have been nice to actually hear her speak without her mentor butting-in and speaking for her.  Perhaps it was because I got a real gut-reaction that the younger girl was actually indicating  that (through her body language) she was actually quite uncomfortable with some of the things her mentor was saying and that would have been much more for a modernisation programme down at the Kingdom Hall – but she simply wasn’t allowed to say this.

Regardless of your views, the one thing you have to give these people credit for is their true, unequivocal and undying commitment to their case.  Because, let’s be honest, there’s not many things that could get me out canvassing on doorsteps at 10am on a Saturday morning with the risk of physical and verbal abuse; dogs; guns; knives or the threat of getting physically run off someone’s land.

Passion is passion no matter what the subject – and although my views versus my doorstep preachers were literally poles apart, it was nice to be able to engage in a conversation with them and have an opportunity to discuss some of our personal views.  But these guys do it week in, week out regardless.

However, clearly on an outcome based visit, Mrs Grey asked me what I had taken from their visit.  And (other than their wee magazine) I explained that ultimately the main thing that their visit brought me was a chance to write about them on my blog…do you think that is why they were “sent” to me….Mmmmmmmm?

  1. 'The Friend' says:

    I wonder what sort of tea I should make for them when they come round. Can you buy LGBT branded tea? I am looking forward to this debate and will ask the couple if they would tell the ‘sex perverts’ to rape the wife rather sodomise his male guest. Judges 19

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